And there goes the wrench…

Dr. B thinks my reconstruction looks “great” and sees nothing wrong with it other than the left implant bottoming out. This makes no sense compared to Dr. F’s assessment, but there we have it. It’s what I wanted to hear… but it doesn’t explain anything about the pain. He wasn’t warm and fuzzy, and there was something about him that I just didn’t love, but he was professional and he explained a lot about why I *could* be in pain… but not this much pain.

Once again, he was surprised by my stitches, which are multiplying every week and said, like every other doctor, “those should have dissolved by now”. Uh, gee, thanks. I figured that out. He ordered blood tests and promised an MRI if anything looked strange, which was more reassuring to my Mom than to me, but there you have it. I have a new plastic surgeon, I guess. At least he’s “in network”, right?

I should be happier that everyone disagrees with Dr. F, but really, I just want an end to the pain. Truly, if a surgery would do that, I think that unlike last week, I’d take it over this uselessness. “Can you carry this for me?”, “Can you open this for me?”, “Can you reach that for me?”, “Can you help me with this?”, “Can you do me a favor?” I’m so tired of being a trainwreck. A burden. A pain in the ass.

To add insult to injury, I faxed the application for a temporary handicap parking permit because I got ticket number 4 last week, because parallel parking is so painful, and mostly because my Mom suggested it, so I sent it to my pain doc. No response. Sigh.

So, I tried to make an appointment with him, but I can’t get one with his P.A. until 7/30 and I’ll be in Chicago, so I had to settle for 8/1. Can’t anyone work with me? Let’s go, people, pain is PAIN. I’m also noticing some slight edema on my legs and some autoimmune symptoms that I didn’t have before. Mental? Physical? Infection? Who knows? All I know is that it’s getting worse and it’s making it difficult to do my job (and hold a pen/use my dominant hand/open doors/etc). This has got to end, and it doesn’t seem that any amount of valium or vicodin is enough…

  1. Shannon

    July 26, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    I wish there was something I could do to take the pain away. But never ever think you’re a burden. People help because they love you. It’s easier advice to give than to listen to, but there you have it. I liked the one doctor’s explanation about the tightness- my worry is that you’re not going to fix this without another surgery and anything else is just wasting time and more copays 🙁

    1. sassymolassie

      August 14, 2012 at 3:25 pm

      Thanks, Shannnon — I didn’t even see your comments until today. Those are my worries too, and they are totally legitimate – how can so many doctors think so many different things?

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