brca bullshit

No more surgery.

Finally saw Dr. B this morning, and he agreed with my subconscious: further trauma to my body seems like

  • unnecessary pain
  • could result in further issues
  • may not have any positive benefits whatsoever
  • could insight infection

So, Dali boob is here to stay. BUT, as I was just saying to my mother (about all my doctor dumpers), Dr. B did the “good doctor” thing: he gave me a referral to another pain specialist, and also gave us two names of nerve surgeons (one in Baltimore at Union Memorial – who pioneered a lot of nerve surgeries – and his protegee at Georgetown) who he assured us were top notch.

The big relief was that right now, there’s nothing “wrong” (meaning the implant being out of pocket is not going to hurt me), and my right implant has not capsulized as much as I thought (although the scar tissue is much worse).

So… same ol’ same ol’ for right now. Time to call the new pain doctor and see what he/she says (the name “Loren” threw me for a loop!). Fingers crossed for the next steps forward.

brca bullshit

Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD)

At my appointment at the psychiatrist’s office, just before I’m ready to leave (my prescriptions clutched tightly in my fist), she stopped me.

“You describe your pain as burning pain, correct” asked Dr. M

“I feel like a fucking Phoenix.” I replied

Dr. M: “But burning, right? Any skin sensitivity or numbness?”

Me: “Yes and yes.”

Dr. M: “Excessive sweating?”

Me: Embarrassed, but I answer “Yes.”

Dr. M: “Hmmm…” (at this point I sat back down and watched her do what I knew was probably a google search). “RSD… why do I remember that? Who did I know who had that? Hmmm….”

Me: Is this something to do with my pain?

Dr. M: Proudly producing a printed out fact sheet, she proclaimed “RSD!” and rushed over to hand it to me in her funky studded heeled booties.

Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD) Syndrome

Also known as Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS)

RSD is an older term used to describe one form of Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS). Both RSD and CRPS are nerve disorders characterized by chronic severe burning pain, pathological changes in bone and skin, excessive sweating, tissue swelling and extreme sensitivity to touch. RSD is sometimes called Type I CRPS, which is triggered by tissue injury where there is no underlying nerve injury, while Type II CRPS refers to cases where a high-velocity impact (such as a bullet wound) occurred at the site and is clearly associated with nerve injury. Type II used to be called “causalgia” and was first documented over 100 years ago by doctors concerned about the pain that Civil War veterans suffered even after their wounds had healed. RSD is unique in that it affects the nerves, skin, muscles, blood vessels and bones at the same time.


Continuous, intense pain that is out of proportion to the severity of the injury (if an injury occurred) and which gets worse rather than better over time. It most often affects the arms, legs, hands or feet and is accompanied by:

  • “burning” pain
  • increased skin sensitivity
  • changes in skin temperature: warmer or cooler compared to the opposite extremity
  • changes in skin color: often blotchy, purple, pale or red
  • changes in skin texture: shiny and thin, sometimes excessively sweaty
  • changes in nail and hair growth patterns
  • swelling and stiffness in affected joint
  • motor disability, with decreased ability to move affected body part

How is RSD Caused?

RSD has no apparent cause. Initially, the condition was thought to be a malfunctioning of the sympathetic nervous system but researchers are questioning this theory. Since it is most often caused by trauma to the extremities, some conditions that can bring RSD about are sprains, fractures, surgery, damage to blood vessels or nerves and certain brain injuries.

How is RSD treated?

Physical therapy is a primary component of treatment. There also are several types of medications that can be used and sometimes elevating the affected extremity may be helpful. There also are surgical procedures that are used in some cases. Treatment needs to be individualized and treatment plans often incorporate several of these measures. Treatment if begun early, ideally within the first three months after symptoms begin, can result in remission. Early diagnosis is the key.

Is there a cure?

Not at this time, but research continues. Advances have resulted in some new and effective treatments.


Ominous, right?

While I don’t have *all* the symptoms, and the burning is more down my side and across the chest (instead of in the extremity), I do have *a lot* of the symptoms.

Plan: Find a doctor who knows what the hell this is and how to diagnose it!
brca bullshit

Who has two thumbs and ain’t gettin’ any doctor love?

One guess.

My appointment with the plastic surgeon has now been cancelled FOUR times. I understand he’s a great surgeon. I understand that I’m not an emergency (to anyone, really), and I understand that his assistant doesn’t have any control over what happens in the operating room… but still. Fuck this.

My Mom took off work to take me! Ugh! Anyway, we’re going to try next Monday at 9:30am – last chance. If that gets cancelled, then I’m done. I don’t really care that much about left anyway… unless it will fix this awful pain.

Also, the court case that I was hoping to be postponed is on like donkey kong – in one week, I will have to stare down my mortal enemy and tell people what he did to me and my coworkers. Grrr.

I have an appointment with my Psychiatrist tonight … I’m pretty sure she’s going to sense the mental breakdown coming on: holidays + pain + no money + not spending Christmas with my family or singing at mass = a giant, awful mess in my head.

This is how I feel right now: