After a disturbing conversation with my father about why I needed to fill out the power of attorney forms (which I already did!) and the risk of death-by-anesthesia, I was pretty wigged out last night. Fortunately I was at J’s house, and he calmed me down and we went to sleep early – I actually slept, and didn’t have that horrible nightmare where I’m awake during surgery but can’t say anything… did anyone else have those nightmares?
One of my BRCA sisters in the support group had the same surgery that I’m having yesterday, and she was texting me just hours after the surgery. She was walking, she was moving and she said the pain was bad but manageable. Funny thing was I offered her my two angels to borrow (since I don’t need them until Tuesday) and that’s one of the first things she said: “thank goodness for the angels.” The nurses told her that she’s doing better than most patients, so I may not be that lucky, but knowing that she can do it is just one more reassurance that *I* can do it too. I have been so glad to talk to her today – she seems alert and awake (just bored) and although she said she couldn’t sleep (I have no doubt that I won’t sleep without a sedative as well), she walked the halls with a nurse. Sounds like a pretty incredible first night, and I pray that mine is just the same.
Up A (Giant) Hill 